1 00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:25,634 This is a love story. 2 00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:27,897 Love, 3 00:00:28,854 --> 00:00:31,988 it's supposed to be patient and kind. 4 00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:33,772 But let's be honest, 5 00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:35,426 it's irrational. 6 00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:37,602 It can make us crazy. 7 00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:40,388 And sometimes downright insane. 8 00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:41,519 I should know. 9 00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:45,958 My husband made me small. 10 00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:49,875 Whoa, oh. 11 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,660 No. 12 00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:53,053 Whoa! 13 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:55,533 It's not a metaphor. 14 00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:57,970 He made me six inches tall. 15 00:00:58,145 --> 00:00:59,624 Help! 16 00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:02,236 I'm literally the size of a dry martini, 17 00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:04,193 shaken, stirred, 18 00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:07,284 and nursing the burn of every sip. 19 00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:11,810 Even at our ugliest, 20 00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:15,075 I still believe our love's worth fighting for. 21 00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:19,340 But fair warning, 22 00:01:20,471 --> 00:01:24,475 it's going to get worse before it gets better. 23 00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:32,440 To us. 24 00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:33,615 To us. 25 00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:42,189 To recapturing the magic. 26 00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:45,061 To the journey, not the destination. 27 00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:46,322 And to Dr. Carmichael, 28 00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:48,195 couples therapist extraordinaire. 29 00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,153 - To her words of wisdom. - Uh-hmm. 30 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:55,115 And speaking of the journey. - It was, uh, bumpy. 31 00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:58,205 Yeah. Yeah, hit a few potholes. 32 00:01:58,422 --> 00:01:59,379 - Yeah. - Yeah. 33 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:01,121 Checked into separate rooms. 34 00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:03,514 Um, but I am working through 35 00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:05,473 my narcissistic tendencies. 36 00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:08,215 And I am working on my accountability issues. 37 00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:10,521 Uh-hmm. And here we are. 38 00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:12,219 We made it. 39 00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:13,610 Got to the next stop. 40 00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:17,267 Dr. Carmichael's New year, new us: 41 00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:20,227 a grand gesture. I'd like to go first. 42 00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:22,664 - Okay. Great. Yeah. - Okay. 43 00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:32,978 I've arranged to get the Vermont gang back together 44 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,719 at the gray house on New Year's Eve 45 00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:36,678 for our anniversary, 46 00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:38,332 so we can renew our vows. 47 00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:42,858 New year, new us. 48 00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:46,078 I'm speechless. 49 00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:47,558 We were so happy there. 50 00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:49,299 Yeah. Uh-hmm. 51 00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:51,083 - Really? - Really. 52 00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:52,259 Are Gary and Meg gonna be there? 53 00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:54,303 They're giving up Cabo. 54 00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:56,044 - Lulu? - Our daughter 55 00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:58,265 has not returned my calls. - Oh, she's 18, she won't. 56 00:02:58,482 --> 00:03:00,180 They don't do phones. Always send a text. 57 00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:02,182 - Okay. - Okay. My turn. 58 00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:03,748 Okay. 59 00:03:03,966 --> 00:03:05,663 - This will be... - Uh-hmm. 60 00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:08,884 ...the last Christmas that we spend in St. Louis 61 00:03:09,101 --> 00:03:11,016 because I have listed our house 62 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,670 with the contingency to rent it back 63 00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:14,323 from the buyer through next December. 64 00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:16,761 I am going to land this big fish 65 00:03:16,979 --> 00:03:19,286 and tomorrow, I'm gonna get Hilton Smith 66 00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:21,331 to bankroll the final stage of my life's work, 67 00:03:21,549 --> 00:03:23,986 so that in one year, Lindy, 68 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,293 we can move back to the gray house 69 00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:29,731 permanently, like I promised years ago. 70 00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:32,473 A clean slate and a fresh start. 71 00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:35,562 I supported you and you got your prize. 72 00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:38,609 And all I ask is that for one more year 73 00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,742 you support me so I can get mine. 74 00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:43,745 Are you serious? 75 00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:48,010 The listing went up... 76 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,316 today. 77 00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:54,451 - This is real? - Very. 78 00:03:58,586 --> 00:03:59,804 Les. 79 00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,156 I love you. 80 00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:07,682 Lindy, I love you too. 81 00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,344 Thank you. 82 00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:20,172 Thank you for inviting me back into our bed. 83 00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,373 How does one solve 84 00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:49,376 the problem of feeding the world? 85 00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:52,465 Only Les Littlejohn knows. 86 00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:55,991 Now, what if we could take, say, an ear of corn, 87 00:04:56,208 --> 00:05:00,300 and shrink it to a fraction of its original size? 88 00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:04,433 Just imagine a farmer could grow ten, a hundred, 89 00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,393 a thousand ears of corn 90 00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:08,699 in the space it takes to grow one. 91 00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:12,399 But how does cellular reduction work? 92 00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:15,706 My revolutionary molecular transformation process 93 00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:19,406 fundamentally changes the distance between atoms. 94 00:05:19,623 --> 00:05:21,408 Oh, the real question is, 95 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,714 can you restore the corn cob to regular size 96 00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:25,325 after it's been miniaturized? 97 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:28,153 Not only can we do it, we will do it, 98 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,330 together, Hilton Smith, 99 00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:32,854 we can make more with less, 100 00:05:33,071 --> 00:05:36,727 and that's L-E-S. 101 00:05:36,945 --> 00:05:38,425 I'll take it from here, Les. 102 00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,339 Okay. 103 00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:47,608 Now it's time to blow your minds. 104 00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:54,049 We call this the mini barn cart. 105 00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:56,094 - No one calls it that. - Okay. It's just me. 106 00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:57,617 See, I grew up on a farm, where I... 107 00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:59,533 Richard. Sorry. I get excited. 108 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:30,390 We call this the future. 109 00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:47,015 I am fucking amazed! 110 00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,193 It's a corn. And the truck, you know, it's been... 111 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,368 - I know. - Look how tiny it is. 112 00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:53,804 It's being tiny. Yeah. 113 00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:55,415 That's incredible. I got you. I got you. 114 00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:56,764 You did. You really did. 115 00:06:56,981 --> 00:06:59,201 You really did. It is crazy. 116 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,985 Oh, amaze me again. 117 00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:03,161 Make, make it big. I, I, I wanna taste it. 118 00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:06,600 Oh, a big corn takes a big investment. 119 00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:09,690 Oh, there he is. Money Man chiming in. 120 00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:10,952 Well, go on. 121 00:07:11,169 --> 00:07:13,433 Uh, you know, uh, Flavor Saver 122 00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:16,131 was a huge step forward. 123 00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:19,526 It was the first and the best GMO tomato on the market. 124 00:07:19,743 --> 00:07:21,049 But it was a failure. 125 00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:22,572 - Well... - Well... 126 00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,573 No, it wasn't. It was a breakthrough, 127 00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,533 but it tasted like old Band-Aids. 128 00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:29,666 Admit it. - No, I don't think I will. 129 00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:32,930 Admit it or I walk. 130 00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:35,498 No. 131 00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:42,200 Fuck yeah! You should never admit failure. 132 00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:44,594 I got you. I got you. Hey. - Yes, you did, Hilton. 133 00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:47,554 But this agro tech is going to change the world. 134 00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,381 - Gonna change the world. Jinx? - Okay. 135 00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,208 And just think, this is only the beginning. 136 00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:53,429 - This is only the beginning. - Sorry, who are you? 137 00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:55,562 Vivienne. Hilton's chief scientist. 138 00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:57,564 I'm the guts, I just write the checks. 139 00:07:57,781 --> 00:07:58,999 She's... - The brains. 140 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,177 And my guts never make mistakes. 141 00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:05,572 I mean, I would write you a check right now, 142 00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:08,575 but for some reason, 143 00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:12,709 I'm just not feeling yummy in my tummy. 144 00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:16,583 You. - Me? 145 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:17,975 Who are you? 146 00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:19,673 Is this a trick question? 147 00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:21,501 I don't know. Is it? 148 00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,503 Well, who are you? 149 00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:26,114 I'm awesome. I'm Hilton. 150 00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:28,116 Well, I'm awesome. I'm Les. 151 00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:32,294 Yeah, I'm gonna need more. 152 00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:41,042 He liked it. 153 00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:42,957 Hey, I'm gonna lose my house. 154 00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:02,542 Hey. 155 00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,369 Hey. 156 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:08,156 Uh, something quietly revealed itself to me. 157 00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:11,638 - Oh, what's that? - Maria's staff pick. 158 00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:13,291 My Rainbow Starts With Black. 159 00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:15,902 It's a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel. 160 00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:20,647 By the one, the only, Lindy McMichael Littlejohn. 161 00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:23,432 That's a lifetime ago. 162 00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:26,217 Mm-mm. Eighteen years and still a fan fave? 163 00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:30,091 Listen, Richie, um, we need to talk. 164 00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:34,486 - Uh-oh. No. - Yeah. 165 00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,184 No, we've just begun. 166 00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:37,446 - Richie. - Hold on. 167 00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:38,839 This is just the first act. 168 00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:41,581 Do not turn this into a tragedy. 169 00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:43,583 Well, tragedy is a better story. 170 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,802 Oh, I wish they had, uh, 171 00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:49,501 a section on how to repair an emotional affair. 172 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:53,462 Listen, you really saw me when I needed it the most. 173 00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:54,723 - I did. - Yeah. 174 00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:57,248 And, and you really gave me 175 00:09:57,466 --> 00:09:59,599 that emotional intimacy that I craved, 176 00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,252 you know. - Uh-hmm. 177 00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:03,472 You were a great shoulder, 178 00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:04,604 an ear. - Uh-hmm. 179 00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:07,607 You're so handsome, young. 180 00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:09,521 - Stop it. No, stop it. - Smart. 181 00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:12,089 And maybe in another life, but... 182 00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:14,135 But I fell in love. 183 00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:18,574 And you? - I fell in Les. 184 00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,924 - L-E-S. Why? - Yeah. 185 00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:23,361 Les knows the real me, 186 00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:27,061 the worst of me, and he, he still loves me. 187 00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:29,585 - I could love the worst of you. - No. 188 00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:31,020 - Yeah. - He has 20 years on you 189 00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:33,371 and you've known me, like, a few months. 190 00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,025 Six and a half. 191 00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:37,071 Les... 192 00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:38,812 - Wait, no, no. - ...he made a grand gesture 193 00:10:39,029 --> 00:10:43,076 and he promised me a fresh start and I believe him. 194 00:10:43,077 --> 00:10:46,297 Why? No, no, no, no, actually, don't say. 195 00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:50,519 Love should remain a mystery. 196 00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:52,042 My mom told me that. 197 00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:54,697 Okay. I'm gonna go. 198 00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:57,091 - Wait, wait, wait. This... - Oh, God. No, no. 199 00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:59,484 I got you this Christmas present. 200 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,269 - Absolutely cannot accept this. - You must 201 00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:03,271 or it means our love was in vain. 202 00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:04,925 - Shh, shh, not love. - Oh, oh. Go. Okay 203 00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:07,057 Just open the card first. 204 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:10,582 There is no need to thank me, okay? 205 00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:28,078 Merry Christmas, my love. 206 00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:31,342 In anticipation of New Year, new you, and new us, 207 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:34,606 I thought this would be a great start. 208 00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:37,131 Open the present. I'll wait. 209 00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,708 I hate this rag. 210 00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,710 I know you hate this rag. 211 00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:53,408 But I knew you'd never send it in yourself. 212 00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:56,628 Give it a quick read. See if you recognize it. 213 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,241 Oh, Richie. 214 00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:01,938 No, no, no, no. What have you done? 215 00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,636 I pretended to be your book agent. 216 00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:08,423 Your story is gonna be in The New Yorker. 217 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,991 No! I didn't write this. 218 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:12,732 I'm fucked. 219 00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:14,734 I know it's overwhelming 220 00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:15,996 and I'm sure you know. 221 00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:18,433 Holy fuck, Richie! 222 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:21,828 No, no, no! Oh, my fuck. 223 00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:23,743 Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit. 224 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,353 Oh, bitch, pick up. Pick up. 225 00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:26,963 Hi, this is Terry. Leave a message. 226 00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:29,836 Terry, oh, fuck. Okay. 227 00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:32,012 There is a story-- 228 00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:34,188 there's a story in New Yorker with my name on it. 229 00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:36,756 And I need you to call me back. This is an emergency. 230 00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:39,410 For serious this time. Call me back. 231 00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:40,542 Fuck. 232 00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:42,762 Fuck! 233 00:12:51,509 --> 00:12:52,859 Uh-hmm? Shut the door. 234 00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:54,512 - Why? - 'Cause I want 235 00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:56,776 to raise my voice. 236 00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,386 Jesus jumping crackers. 237 00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:01,518 Why would you invite Hilton 238 00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:04,044 to your charity event at your home tonight? 239 00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:05,523 'Cause he wants to know who I am. 240 00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:07,743 - But Lindy will be there. - And? 241 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,746 I'm sorry, am I the only one that remembers last year? 242 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,618 The, the, the, silent auction, the pool incident? 243 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,317 And you're still serving alcohol this year, right? 244 00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:19,537 Count me out. I'm sorry. I cannot watch. 245 00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:24,804 I don't think that my heart or my stomach 246 00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:27,502 can tolerate another interaction with him. 247 00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:29,069 But we are broke. 248 00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:30,984 And he is all we have. 249 00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:34,770 There are no more interested investors, 250 00:13:34,944 --> 00:13:36,728 Les, with Hilton's kind of cash. 251 00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:39,122 You know what? Lindy and I are fine now. 252 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:42,038 We're good even. And we're renewing our vows. 253 00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:43,648 New year, new us. - New us. 254 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:44,998 Yes. You said that last year. 255 00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:46,260 This year, it's gonna stick. 256 00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:47,435 You sleeping in the same bed? 257 00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:48,828 Yes. 258 00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:51,091 - Just sleeping? - Sleeping plus. 259 00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,833 - Big plus? - Small plus. 260 00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:55,486 I'd feel so much better if it was big. 261 00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:57,227 We're on the road to big, I promise you. 262 00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:58,533 Um, okay. 263 00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:01,666 Lindy, it's me. 264 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,581 It's me calling you. Um, I'm not panicking. 265 00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:05,714 But just call me back before the party, okay? 266 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:08,369 It's not an emergency but it's an emergency. 267 00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:10,545 Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm sorry. - Oh, so sorry, sir. 268 00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,329 Um, my, uh, my polyp is gone. 269 00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:14,854 Yeah, but there's a hole in my heart now. 270 00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,768 Sounds like a case for the Bard's Guard. 271 00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:19,554 So I'll be unable to attend your party this evening. 272 00:14:19,771 --> 00:14:21,382 Our loss. Good luck, Richard. 273 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,017 You're not Jackie. - I'm Hel. 274 00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:50,019 Don't make me raise it. Who are you? 275 00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:52,500 Uh, I'm Professor Littlejohn, Jackie's professor. 276 00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:54,850 Did she leave for break already? Have I missed her? 277 00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:57,026 I hope not, 'cause I'm her fucking ride. 278 00:14:57,244 --> 00:14:59,899 - Jackie. - Professor Littlejohn. 279 00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:01,901 Yeah, Lindy. You should call me Lindy. 280 00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:04,338 Oh, uh, Hel, uh, Professor Littlejohn 281 00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:07,036 is the reason that I'm here. 282 00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:09,560 Oh, you wrote that book she loves. 283 00:15:09,778 --> 00:15:11,301 I didn't read it. No offense. 284 00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:14,043 None taken. Jackie, I'm so glad I caught you. 285 00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:15,566 Can we talk? 286 00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:17,786 Yeah. Just real quick. 287 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,440 - Oh, you mean without me? - I do. 288 00:15:19,657 --> 00:15:21,050 Oh. Is it okay? 289 00:15:21,268 --> 00:15:23,574 Oh, yeah. Bit rude. No offense, but sure. 290 00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:25,054 Okay. Just have a... 291 00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:27,404 Okay. Hi. Um... 292 00:15:29,102 --> 00:15:31,582 have I done something wrong, Professor Littlejohn? 293 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,671 Oh, no, no, gosh. No, no. 294 00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:36,457 I have. I have. 295 00:15:36,674 --> 00:15:38,589 I, um... 296 00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:41,201 I need to tell you something. Uh... 297 00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:46,554 I loved your short story. 298 00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:49,818 - "Untitled on Purpose"? - Uh-hmm. That's the one. 299 00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:52,081 Yeah, I loved it. It was brilliant. 300 00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:54,605 Uh, the prose was incisive. 301 00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:58,044 Oh, just the voice, fresh, distinguished, rare. 302 00:15:58,479 --> 00:16:01,351 One that deserves the attention 303 00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:03,135 of the New York literati. 304 00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:04,964 Wow. 305 00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:06,966 I mean, what--that, that means 306 00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:08,489 the world to me, Professor Littlejohn. 307 00:16:08,706 --> 00:16:10,099 It's almost-- it's almost Christmas 308 00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:11,752 and you're at my door complimenting my work. 309 00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:13,624 I--oh, my gosh, I couldn't ask for a better gift. 310 00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:15,713 Okay. Listen to me. Listen to me. 311 00:16:15,931 --> 00:16:19,065 You need to turn it into a novel right now. 312 00:16:20,153 --> 00:16:22,372 Now? Really? 313 00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:23,983 Really now. Uh-hmm. 314 00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:25,505 Um... 315 00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:27,508 I guess I could get started over the break. 316 00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:30,641 Nope. You need to take next semester off and just write. 317 00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:32,730 The whole semester? 318 00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:33,862 The whole semester. 319 00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:36,604 You just wanna isolate and write 320 00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:38,127 while it's fresh, while it's here, 321 00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:39,650 while "Untitled on Purpose" 322 00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:41,652 is coursing through you, right? 323 00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:43,175 Yes, yes, I feel it. 324 00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:45,004 Okay. So you need to isolate and write. 325 00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:47,049 Uh, no distractions, no internet, 326 00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:49,138 no novels, no magazines, 327 00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:51,140 no, uh, nothing. Right? - No, no. 328 00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:53,446 Nothing. - And just all winter long, 329 00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:55,014 uh, very A Room of One's Own. 330 00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:57,146 Woolf it. - Right. Right. Woolf it! 331 00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:58,974 - Could you do that? - Yes. 332 00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:00,628 Well, uh, well, Hel's dad, my Uncle Flip, 333 00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:04,153 he has a cabin back in Montana that's super isolated. 334 00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:05,981 - Oh. - Like Walden Pond isolated. 335 00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:07,026 - That's perfect. - Right? 336 00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:08,592 - Yes. Jackie. - Yeah? 337 00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:12,901 This has the potential to be your... 338 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,164 My Rainbow Starts With Black? 339 00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:18,646 No, Professor Littlejohn, it, it couldn't. 340 00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:21,170 You know, I... - Jackie. I should know. 341 00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:24,695 My goal in life is to just write 342 00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:27,829 one, one great novel like you. 343 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,571 That's... - Okay. So we're great? 344 00:17:30,788 --> 00:17:32,268 You're gonna isolate and write? - Yes. 345 00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:34,096 - All semester? - All semester. 346 00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,141 - You're going to Montana? - Yes, Professor Littlejohn! 347 00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,795 - Remember, no magazines, right? - No. 348 00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:39,232 - No? You don't want any? - Uh-uh. 349 00:17:39,449 --> 00:17:42,017 Just turn off the internet. Okay? 350 00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:45,064 - I will unplug completely. - Yes! 351 00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:46,848 Okay. Hey, Merry Christmas. 352 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,677 Merry Christmas to you too! 353 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:56,205 Okay. Let's--oh. 354 00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:58,990 My notes right here. 355 00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:02,777 Ooh. 356 00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:14,441 Oh, fuck. Oh! 357 00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:17,096 Terry! Thank Christ. Okay. Listen, I... 358 00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,097 Lindy, you have 10 minutes. 359 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,838 Blindsiding me with one short story 360 00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:22,449 published in The New Yorker over the last two decades 361 00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:24,233 gets you one. 362 00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:25,626 The fact that we've been friends for more than 20 years 363 00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:27,106 gets you another. 364 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,064 And the other eight belong to Gillian Flynn, 365 00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:30,761 who continues to publish bestsellers, 366 00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:33,851 which bought me a Classic Six off the Park. 367 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:36,767 I didn't write the story. It's my student's work. 368 00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:43,078 My ex-emotional-lover, long story, 369 00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:44,383 found the fucking story 370 00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:45,993 in my bag and thought it was mine. 371 00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:48,736 And I--why would I correct him, you know? 372 00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:50,216 He sent it in 373 00:18:51,304 --> 00:18:53,305 without my knowledge, on my behalf, 374 00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:56,091 because he, long story, adored me 375 00:18:56,265 --> 00:18:58,267 and thought I was capable of writing something great again. 376 00:18:58,485 --> 00:18:59,659 What the fuck... 377 00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,009 I'm taking a Sabbatical from WashU. 378 00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:02,271 I'm headed to the gray house. 379 00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:04,273 Les and I are gonna renew our vows. 380 00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:06,493 Long story, you're invited. 381 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:07,885 I know you hate him. 382 00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:10,540 I did too. But he is a good dad. 383 00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:14,153 And I'm committed to committing to my marriage. 384 00:19:14,327 --> 00:19:16,720 So I cannot handle 385 00:19:16,938 --> 00:19:19,810 this shit storm right now, which is sure, 386 00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:22,291 by the way, to tarnish your reputation as well. 387 00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:24,685 So if you wanna keep that Classic Six, 388 00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:27,296 then can you please, please 389 00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:30,299 fix this fucking mess so I can focus on my vows 390 00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,171 and my marriage like I promised? 391 00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:35,391 I hate you. I know. 392 00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,306 I hate me too. 393 00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:38,916 Thank you. 394 00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:41,049 No, no, no. You're not allowed to thank me. 395 00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:47,838 Oliver! 396 00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:08,337 Les has been calling, I've been texting. 397 00:20:08,555 --> 00:20:10,209 And I have been busy. 398 00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,646 Les needs you on best behavior tonight. 399 00:20:12,863 --> 00:20:14,343 Hilton Smith is attending. 400 00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:16,737 Condescending as always, Starla. 401 00:20:16,954 --> 00:20:19,043 And who? Necessary. 402 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,655 And he is a big investor. - You know, I thought 403 00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,395 the cover was on the pool last year, right? 404 00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:24,875 You know that. - Great. 405 00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:26,225 You already picked up the first framed tomato. 406 00:20:26,399 --> 00:20:27,617 I did. Yup. 407 00:20:27,835 --> 00:20:29,228 - Uh, it's locked. - I know. 408 00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:32,361 - Is this another party protest? - No. 409 00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:33,841 Hilton is here in five. 410 00:20:34,058 --> 00:20:35,364 Starla. Your dress is upstairs. 411 00:20:35,582 --> 00:20:37,888 I need you inside now. - What? What dress? 412 00:20:38,106 --> 00:20:39,412 Les had me assess your wardrobe situation 413 00:20:39,629 --> 00:20:41,065 and, and we both agreed that the only option 414 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,371 was to outsource an upgrade. 415 00:20:42,589 --> 00:20:45,069 Insulting. 416 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,245 And what if I hate it? 417 00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:48,551 Your futures are on the line. 418 00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:50,248 He said to me, quote, 419 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:54,078 "No new year, new us without new money," unquote. 420 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,124 So please just move. 421 00:20:56,298 --> 00:20:57,473 Get out of the car. 422 00:20:57,691 --> 00:20:59,432 Now! 423 00:20:59,649 --> 00:21:01,042 Bye-bye, Starla. 424 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:05,264 I will have the valet physically remove you. 425 00:21:05,438 --> 00:21:07,091 I need a minute! 426 00:21:08,441 --> 00:21:09,877 One minute! 427 00:21:12,053 --> 00:21:15,143 I need Hulk out front, stat. 428 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,651 Come on. Tell me what Les is working on. 429 00:21:45,652 --> 00:21:48,611 This is the cover of Scientific American. 430 00:21:48,829 --> 00:21:50,700 Okay, he tells me nothing, Nils. 431 00:21:50,918 --> 00:21:52,920 Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. And you never ask? 432 00:21:53,137 --> 00:21:54,312 Bullshit, Lindy. 433 00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,661 I have printed that same quote from you 434 00:21:55,662 --> 00:21:57,011 10 times over the years. 435 00:21:57,228 --> 00:21:59,317 All I'll say is, first rule of Fight Club. 436 00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:02,190 Lame and outdated. 437 00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:04,627 Just like Scientific American. 438 00:22:13,984 --> 00:22:16,900 Vodka, dry. 439 00:22:24,255 --> 00:22:25,300 Oh, thank you. 440 00:22:33,830 --> 00:22:34,875 Big Red has landed. 441 00:22:36,442 --> 00:22:37,659 Where's Lindy? 442 00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:39,227 I need eyes on Lady Tomato. 443 00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:41,185 - Hilton? - Give me a 20 on Deep Pockets. 444 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,795 man: Roger. None at the second. 445 00:22:42,796 --> 00:22:43,971 Double negative. 446 00:22:44,188 --> 00:22:45,625 Big Red is not happy. 447 00:22:45,842 --> 00:22:48,584 I know amazing style when I see it. 448 00:22:48,802 --> 00:22:50,978 Oh, this is a facade. 449 00:22:51,195 --> 00:22:53,589 Oh, well, the facade is working. 450 00:22:53,807 --> 00:22:56,592 Hmm. I'm teetering on the precipice 451 00:22:56,810 --> 00:22:57,985 of being outed as a fraud. 452 00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:01,554 Which I probably deserve. 453 00:23:01,771 --> 00:23:05,731 I'm supposed to be the supportive wife 454 00:23:05,732 --> 00:23:08,256 but, uh, my career going up in flames 455 00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:09,823 is bangin' around my brain. 456 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:11,912 It's all I can hear. 457 00:23:12,129 --> 00:23:14,175 What does your husband think about that? 458 00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:17,396 Oh, he has no clue. He's a fraud too. 459 00:23:17,613 --> 00:23:18,788 Is that so? 460 00:23:19,006 --> 00:23:19,833 Uh-hmm. 461 00:23:21,225 --> 00:23:23,445 Welcome, everyone. 462 00:23:23,663 --> 00:23:27,318 Uh, every year, um, I say I'm gonna keep it short 463 00:23:27,493 --> 00:23:29,016 and that this night is not about me, 464 00:23:29,233 --> 00:23:31,322 it's about the children. 465 00:23:31,497 --> 00:23:33,629 And tonight, I'm actually gonna keep that promise 466 00:23:33,847 --> 00:23:37,720 but, you know, let's be honest, um, it has to be about me first 467 00:23:37,938 --> 00:23:40,027 because you're all here to bid on my stuff. 468 00:23:41,245 --> 00:23:43,030 Well, he's just 469 00:23:43,247 --> 00:23:47,600 playing the role of a charitable philanthropist. 470 00:23:47,817 --> 00:23:51,865 But all he really cares about is his life's work first, 471 00:23:52,082 --> 00:23:53,432 himself second, our daughter third, 472 00:23:53,606 --> 00:23:56,435 me last, which I probably deserve. 473 00:23:56,652 --> 00:23:57,827 Well, just curious. 474 00:23:58,045 --> 00:24:01,048 What do you think about his life's work? 475 00:24:01,265 --> 00:24:05,052 And a very personal little ditty about Jack and Diane, 476 00:24:05,269 --> 00:24:08,489 my John Cougar Mellencamp Velcro wallet 477 00:24:08,490 --> 00:24:12,102 with my high school ID still inside. Huh? 478 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,061 Where else you gonna get one of those? 479 00:24:14,278 --> 00:24:17,760 I can't tell you that. 480 00:24:17,978 --> 00:24:19,109 It's so top secret actually, 481 00:24:19,327 --> 00:24:21,634 - I have no idea what it is. - Oh. 482 00:24:21,851 --> 00:24:23,940 Hold on a second. My, my top elf is really trying 483 00:24:24,158 --> 00:24:25,550 to tell me something. 484 00:24:25,551 --> 00:24:27,117 Lady Tomato on the veranda with Deep Pockets, 485 00:24:27,335 --> 00:24:28,771 two drinks in, third on deck. 486 00:24:28,989 --> 00:24:31,252 You're fucking joking or you're fucking fired. 487 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:33,036 I'll turn in my headset. 488 00:24:35,125 --> 00:24:37,911 But I can tell you, 489 00:24:38,128 --> 00:24:40,870 he's brilliant. 490 00:24:41,088 --> 00:24:42,176 Don't tell him I said that. 491 00:24:43,177 --> 00:24:45,092 Yeah. I mean, I'm already last. 492 00:24:45,309 --> 00:24:46,485 You know, what's after last? 493 00:24:48,791 --> 00:24:50,488 Not much. 494 00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:54,014 So yeah, merry Christmas and happy holidays, 495 00:24:54,231 --> 00:24:57,321 and, uh, hopefully that covers it all. Okay. 496 00:24:59,585 --> 00:25:01,108 - Les, five minutes. - No. 497 00:25:01,325 --> 00:25:02,456 - Two. - One. Later, maybe. 498 00:25:02,457 --> 00:25:04,111 Done. Oh, everybody was up. 499 00:25:04,328 --> 00:25:05,765 Hey, Lindy, stop, stop. You're right--no, no. 500 00:25:05,982 --> 00:25:07,026 - Stop. - I'm just explaining 501 00:25:07,027 --> 00:25:08,332 to this gentleman why there's no 502 00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:10,509 outdoor access this holiday season. 503 00:25:10,726 --> 00:25:13,686 So as a joke, last year, I put into the silent auction, 504 00:25:13,903 --> 00:25:18,299 as a joke, "watch almighty Les walk on water." 505 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:20,127 I thought the cover was on the pool. 506 00:25:20,344 --> 00:25:21,389 - Oh. - It was not. You got it? 507 00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:22,825 Oh, yeah. - I'm so sorry. 508 00:25:23,043 --> 00:25:24,131 You get it. - Hilton, I'm so sorry. 509 00:25:24,348 --> 00:25:25,785 I just wanna say I'm so sorry. 510 00:25:26,002 --> 00:25:27,134 - Hilton? - Oh, I'd pay right now 511 00:25:27,351 --> 00:25:29,832 to see that, Awesome Les. 512 00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:31,530 If you can walk on water, 513 00:25:31,704 --> 00:25:33,140 you got my money. 514 00:25:33,357 --> 00:25:34,402 Are you being serious? 515 00:25:34,707 --> 00:25:36,970 - No. - No. Oh, oh, great. 516 00:25:37,187 --> 00:25:38,537 So I can still get the money? 517 00:25:38,754 --> 00:25:41,801 After the conversation with your wife, 518 00:25:42,018 --> 00:25:43,150 uh... 519 00:25:43,367 --> 00:25:45,195 - ...I don't know. - Hi, Hilton. 520 00:25:45,413 --> 00:25:46,545 I didn't know, like... - Okay, Lindy. 521 00:25:46,762 --> 00:25:48,155 Why don't you just not say anything 522 00:25:48,372 --> 00:25:50,244 and maybe go and get us a lot of drinks? 523 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:52,986 Okay. So, um, Hilton, 524 00:25:53,203 --> 00:25:54,377 I don't know what she said exactly... 525 00:25:54,378 --> 00:25:56,859 Well, she said that you put work first, 526 00:25:57,077 --> 00:25:59,078 family third, and her dead last. 527 00:25:59,079 --> 00:26:00,167 That's out of context. 528 00:26:00,384 --> 00:26:01,647 What kind of man are you? 529 00:26:01,864 --> 00:26:03,736 I know. I just--I, I can explain. 530 00:26:03,953 --> 00:26:07,566 - I can explain. - Oh, my God. 531 00:26:07,783 --> 00:26:09,829 Never explain, anything. 532 00:26:10,046 --> 00:26:12,745 - I got you, again. - Oh, yeah. Again. 533 00:26:12,962 --> 00:26:14,398 You suck at this. 534 00:26:14,573 --> 00:26:16,052 I do. I do. I do. 535 00:26:16,270 --> 00:26:18,011 So just to be clear, Lindy didn't tank the deal? 536 00:26:18,228 --> 00:26:19,186 She closed it. 537 00:26:19,403 --> 00:26:20,491 Now she's awesome. 538 00:26:21,492 --> 00:26:23,669 Workaholics, they change the world. 539 00:26:23,886 --> 00:26:26,672 I'm a workaholic. I should know. - Thank you. 540 00:26:26,889 --> 00:26:27,890 Oh, thank you so much. - Okay. Okay. Okay. 541 00:26:28,108 --> 00:26:29,064 Thank you so much. 542 00:26:29,065 --> 00:26:30,197 I wanna go to work right away, 543 00:26:30,414 --> 00:26:31,633 like fuck the holidays. - Yeah, 544 00:26:31,851 --> 00:26:33,200 I put it on my Christmas card every year. 545 00:26:33,417 --> 00:26:34,636 Yeah, you really see me. 546 00:26:34,854 --> 00:26:36,682 - We both do. - Oh, it's you again. 547 00:26:36,899 --> 00:26:38,205 Hilton's chief scientist. 548 00:26:38,422 --> 00:26:39,989 Oh, the brains. 549 00:26:40,207 --> 00:26:41,208 And the boots. The boots? 550 00:26:41,425 --> 00:26:42,688 The boots on the ground. 551 00:26:42,905 --> 00:26:43,689 What do the boots do? 552 00:26:43,906 --> 00:26:45,386 The boots ensure 553 00:26:45,604 --> 00:26:47,083 that my guts are never wrong. 554 00:26:48,345 --> 00:26:50,478 The boots are a part of the deal. 555 00:26:50,652 --> 00:26:53,829 I'm all in. Are you, Awesome Les? 556 00:27:00,531 --> 00:27:02,229 Fine. Just, just tell me. 557 00:27:02,446 --> 00:27:04,187 I'm melting down. 558 00:27:04,405 --> 00:27:05,406 Because I fucked the deal? 559 00:27:05,624 --> 00:27:06,973 No, I closed the deal. 560 00:27:07,190 --> 00:27:09,018 I closed the deal. - Fantastic! 561 00:27:09,236 --> 00:27:10,063 - No! - What do you mean no? 562 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:11,759 - It's... - That's so great! 563 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,067 Oh, my God. I was so worried. - No, Lindy. No. No. 564 00:27:14,284 --> 00:27:15,634 I mean, I... - Now, I am saddled 565 00:27:15,808 --> 00:27:18,071 with one of Hilton's network of bio spies. 566 00:27:18,288 --> 00:27:20,421 His chief scientist is gonna come in 567 00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:22,249 and she's gonna take credit for my work, 568 00:27:22,466 --> 00:27:24,425 and all of this will have been for nothing. 569 00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:27,428 I will be nothing. My legacy will be nothing. 570 00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:29,517 I shall go to the grave without a Nobel. 571 00:27:29,691 --> 00:27:33,652 You know, this was my last chance at greatness. 572 00:27:33,826 --> 00:27:35,610 Gone. 573 00:27:35,784 --> 00:27:38,134 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 574 00:27:40,267 --> 00:27:45,925 Hey, come on. You remember Joan Ryan, huh? 575 00:27:46,142 --> 00:27:49,363 - Yeah, my nemesis at MIT. - That's right. 576 00:27:49,580 --> 00:27:51,146 You were convinced 577 00:27:51,147 --> 00:27:54,455 that the PhD board was gonna pick her over you 578 00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:56,283 and you were gonna be relegated 579 00:27:56,500 --> 00:27:58,328 to just a footnote in the science community 580 00:27:58,546 --> 00:27:59,547 or some other science bad thing, right? 581 00:27:59,721 --> 00:28:03,899 But what actually happened, Les? 582 00:28:04,117 --> 00:28:04,987 They chose me. 583 00:28:06,162 --> 00:28:07,207 They chose you. 584 00:28:08,208 --> 00:28:09,818 And where's Joan Ryan? 585 00:28:10,036 --> 00:28:12,386 Teaching at Berkeley. 586 00:28:13,517 --> 00:28:15,345 And where are you? 587 00:28:15,563 --> 00:28:17,086 - In St. Louis. - But why? 588 00:28:17,304 --> 00:28:19,480 Oh, uh... 589 00:28:19,698 --> 00:28:22,701 to give the finger to those ungrateful pricks at Monsanto, 590 00:28:22,875 --> 00:28:25,268 and to build the Menlo Park of the Midwest. 591 00:28:25,486 --> 00:28:27,488 - And how? - How? Because I am-- 592 00:28:27,706 --> 00:28:29,316 I am a partner in my own company, 593 00:28:29,533 --> 00:28:31,535 creating the bioagro tech that will change the world. 594 00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:32,710 That's right. Yeah. 595 00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:33,712 You're gonna change the world. 596 00:28:36,149 --> 00:28:37,193 And you are. 597 00:28:38,151 --> 00:28:39,935 I've always believed that. 598 00:28:40,153 --> 00:28:41,676 Even when you hated me? 599 00:28:41,850 --> 00:28:42,721 Oh. 600 00:28:44,461 --> 00:28:46,768 Especially when I hated you. 601 00:28:46,986 --> 00:28:48,770 So what do I do? 602 00:28:48,988 --> 00:28:51,512 You do what you always do. 603 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:56,082 You get back in the workshop and you figure it out. 604 00:28:56,299 --> 00:28:58,998 That's what Les Littlejohn does. Yeah. 605 00:28:59,215 --> 00:29:01,740 - Right? - Yeah. Right. 606 00:29:01,957 --> 00:29:03,524 Right? - Oh. 607 00:29:03,742 --> 00:29:04,568 Okay. 608 00:29:05,613 --> 00:29:07,180 That's it. 609 00:29:07,397 --> 00:29:09,008 That's it. Thank you, Lindy. 610 00:29:09,225 --> 00:29:11,924 Thank you for being so understanding. 611 00:29:12,141 --> 00:29:14,535 Oh, God. 612 00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:16,755 So now, I gotta get back in the workshop 613 00:29:16,929 --> 00:29:20,106 and let's move our-- renewing our vows to next year. 614 00:29:20,323 --> 00:29:21,542 That's a fantastic idea. 615 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:22,890 Les, no, I didn't--what? 616 00:29:22,891 --> 00:29:24,501 Huh? That's what you said, right? 617 00:29:25,415 --> 00:29:27,548 Huh? - Did I? 618 00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:29,288 - Yeah. - Gary and Meg. 619 00:29:29,289 --> 00:29:30,986 Oh, Gary and Meg would much prefer to go to Cabo. 620 00:29:31,204 --> 00:29:32,160 Let's send them something. 621 00:29:32,161 --> 00:29:33,814 - Sign my name. - No, no, no, 622 00:29:33,815 --> 00:29:35,556 that'll be so humiliating to me. - Oh, don't worry. Don't worry. 623 00:29:35,774 --> 00:29:36,948 I'll tell Lulu that she can just go 624 00:29:36,949 --> 00:29:38,428 skiing with her friends like she wanted. 625 00:29:38,646 --> 00:29:39,515 So I'll see you when I see you. 626 00:29:39,516 --> 00:29:40,561 I'll be back when I'm back. 627 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,301 And, um, I love you 628 00:29:42,302 --> 00:29:45,784 and I can't wait for new year, new us next year. Mwah! 629 00:29:52,486 --> 00:29:53,574 Motherfucker! 630 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:58,840 Is he fucking kidding me?! 631 00:30:01,451 --> 00:30:02,496 I'm... 632 00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:17,641 Lindy? 633 00:30:17,816 --> 00:30:20,731 Um, Richie. Um... 634 00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:22,864 I made a mistake 635 00:30:23,082 --> 00:30:26,433 and I'm, I'm leaving Les tonight. 636 00:30:26,650 --> 00:30:27,826 I hear the emotion in your voice 637 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,392 and it's beautiful. 638 00:30:29,610 --> 00:30:30,959 I've been hoping for a Christmas miracle. 639 00:30:31,177 --> 00:30:32,831 Yeah, I'm gonna go to Vermont. 640 00:30:33,005 --> 00:30:34,006 I'm gonna go to the gray house. 641 00:30:34,223 --> 00:30:35,703 And I, um-- 642 00:30:35,877 --> 00:30:37,618 could you--could you come with me? 643 00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:40,273 Where you finished your masterpiece. 644 00:30:40,490 --> 00:30:42,666 I'd be honored to be invited. A gift beyond measure. 645 00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:44,103 Uh, I have 10 vacation days 646 00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:45,452 and one personal day banked... 647 00:30:45,669 --> 00:30:47,280 Um... ...and, uh--oh. 648 00:30:47,497 --> 00:30:49,195 Heart emoji. 649 00:30:49,412 --> 00:30:51,850 Uh, let--let's meet at Mandy's Diner at midnight. 650 00:30:52,067 --> 00:30:53,634 Heart emoji back. 651 00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:55,636 I'll arrive with joy in my step 652 00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,290 and a light in my heart. 653 00:30:57,507 --> 00:30:58,639 Did you love my present? 654 00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:00,336 The fuck! Pardon? 655 00:31:00,554 --> 00:31:02,077 Yeah, I... 656 00:31:02,295 --> 00:31:05,820 I didn't have the heart to open it, 657 00:31:05,994 --> 00:31:08,823 so, um, I'll just bring it with me, okay? 658 00:31:08,997 --> 00:31:11,652 New year, new you, new us. 659 00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:13,044 Oh, is Vermont cold? I get... 660 00:31:35,719 --> 00:31:39,201 Everybody out in 30 minutes or Hulk is gonna see me smash. 661 00:31:41,725 --> 00:31:44,685 Iceberg ahead 30 clicks. Abandon ship. 662 00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:45,947 Lady Tomato about to burst. 663 00:31:46,165 --> 00:31:47,862 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 664 00:31:48,036 --> 00:31:49,690 Les promised me a minute. 665 00:31:51,953 --> 00:31:53,389 I'll give you 20. 666 00:32:12,147 --> 00:32:13,844 Excuse me? 667 00:32:14,497 --> 00:32:17,892 I thought the boots up my ass might start after the holidays. 668 00:32:18,066 --> 00:32:19,894 Martin signed the LOI ASAP 669 00:32:20,068 --> 00:32:22,288 and Hilton turned on the money hose in good faith. 670 00:32:22,505 --> 00:32:24,333 I didn't sign. I'm a partner. 671 00:32:24,551 --> 00:32:26,901 Apparently not the important one. 672 00:32:27,075 --> 00:32:32,776 Oh. Well, now I'm inspired and I would like you to leave. 673 00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:34,909 A genius needs his space. 674 00:32:35,083 --> 00:32:36,519 Exactly. 675 00:32:36,737 --> 00:32:39,609 And I plan on being inspired throughout the holidays. 676 00:32:39,827 --> 00:32:42,482 I know this is a difficult transition period. 677 00:32:42,699 --> 00:32:44,614 I'll give you tonight. 678 00:32:44,832 --> 00:32:45,964 But I will be back tomorrow. 679 00:32:47,966 --> 00:32:50,881 Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn. 680 00:32:53,972 --> 00:32:56,017 Fuck me. 681 00:33:33,228 --> 00:33:35,143 Nils, I don't have time. 682 00:33:38,146 --> 00:33:39,626 She what? 683 00:34:02,344 --> 00:34:04,825 You're old. Text me. 684 00:34:09,395 --> 00:34:10,961 Fuck you too. 685 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:15,531 Starla? 686 00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:26,020 Les. 687 00:34:26,194 --> 00:34:28,675 Freezer is off limits from now on, until I say. 688 00:34:28,892 --> 00:34:31,895 We need to regroup. Where are you going? 689 00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:33,375 I'm leaving you. 690 00:34:33,593 --> 00:34:34,898 Pfft. If anyone should be leaving anyone, 691 00:34:35,073 --> 00:34:37,205 I should be leaving you. - How's that? 692 00:34:37,423 --> 00:34:38,859 For trying to sabotage my career. 693 00:34:39,077 --> 00:34:40,164 Think I don't know, huh? 694 00:34:40,165 --> 00:34:41,209 You don't think Nils would call me 695 00:34:41,427 --> 00:34:42,950 for comment, Lindy. 696 00:34:43,124 --> 00:34:45,257 It's Scientific American, not TMZ. 697 00:34:45,474 --> 00:34:47,041 I'm a hoax, am I? 698 00:34:47,215 --> 00:34:48,912 And threatened by a female scientist 699 00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:50,044 taking credit for my work? 700 00:34:50,218 --> 00:34:52,046 You mentioned Joan? 701 00:34:52,220 --> 00:34:53,830 I'm not a misogynist. 702 00:34:54,048 --> 00:34:56,050 I'm not--I'm not intentionally. - Oh? 703 00:34:56,224 --> 00:34:57,442 If anything, I'm an accidental misogynist 704 00:34:57,443 --> 00:34:58,966 and I too blame the patriarchy for that. 705 00:34:59,140 --> 00:35:01,055 I never said misogynist. 706 00:35:01,229 --> 00:35:02,883 Why would you do this? Why? 707 00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:05,059 You know why. 708 00:35:05,233 --> 00:35:07,105 Is it about Gary and Meg? 709 00:35:07,322 --> 00:35:10,717 This is about you and our marriage, 710 00:35:10,934 --> 00:35:14,547 and breaking the promise of step three: a grand gesture. 711 00:35:14,764 --> 00:35:16,505 And our daughter who hates me. 712 00:35:16,723 --> 00:35:20,205 Sucking the life out of me and my promising writing career. 713 00:35:20,422 --> 00:35:22,337 Career? Stop! 714 00:35:22,555 --> 00:35:25,252 It was one book in the early aughts. 715 00:35:25,253 --> 00:35:27,081 This is what you did. You basically... 716 00:35:27,255 --> 00:35:29,866 you turned in a book report on your fucked-up family... 717 00:35:30,084 --> 00:35:31,258 Oh. ...you changed the names, 718 00:35:31,259 --> 00:35:33,000 you added a little bit of wry sarcasm, 719 00:35:33,174 --> 00:35:34,088 and then you called it fiction, 720 00:35:34,262 --> 00:35:35,655 and you got lucky. 721 00:35:35,872 --> 00:35:37,700 Look... - My Rainbow Starts With Black. 722 00:35:37,918 --> 00:35:40,573 No shit. - My book report 723 00:35:40,790 --> 00:35:41,965 and the subsequent 724 00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:44,272 Oscar-nominated film it's based on, 725 00:35:44,490 --> 00:35:49,147 bought and paid for this extravagantly sad McMansion 726 00:35:49,364 --> 00:35:54,021 in this Podunk red-state town you forced us to move to 727 00:35:54,195 --> 00:35:56,110 so that you could try to be something other than 728 00:35:56,284 --> 00:35:58,895 Mr. Fucking Tomato Head. 729 00:35:59,113 --> 00:36:00,114 This is the last thing I need right now. 730 00:36:00,288 --> 00:36:01,159 - Oh, my... - Yes. 731 00:36:01,333 --> 00:36:02,812 I'm so sorry. 732 00:36:03,030 --> 00:36:04,292 What is it you need right now? 733 00:36:04,510 --> 00:36:06,120 - I need you. Yeah. - Uh-huh. 734 00:36:06,294 --> 00:36:09,123 I need your support. This is my last chance. 735 00:36:09,297 --> 00:36:12,170 You already got your prize. 736 00:36:12,344 --> 00:36:14,128 And in case you forgot, 737 00:36:14,302 --> 00:36:18,001 I was by your side for every fucking sentence. 738 00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:20,613 Every book signing, every interview. 739 00:36:20,830 --> 00:36:23,137 I held your purse, I held my tongue. 740 00:36:23,311 --> 00:36:24,573 You know, I was there for the ride. 741 00:36:24,791 --> 00:36:26,357 And it wasn't always pleasant. 742 00:36:26,358 --> 00:36:29,056 You know, the rollercoaster of insecurity and emotion, 743 00:36:29,230 --> 00:36:31,058 is frankly fucking exhausting. 744 00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:33,278 I have paid that debt! 745 00:36:33,495 --> 00:36:36,150 I have been by your side for 15 years! 746 00:36:36,324 --> 00:36:42,765 You had Flavor Saver and it was insufferable. 747 00:36:42,983 --> 00:36:45,638 Still is. - But I didn't get my moment 748 00:36:45,855 --> 00:36:47,335 in the spotlight like you did. 749 00:36:47,553 --> 00:36:48,510 I didn't get 750 00:36:48,728 --> 00:36:50,033 my prize. 751 00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:51,078 Swing and a miss. 752 00:36:51,252 --> 00:36:53,385 How is it my fault? 753 00:36:53,602 --> 00:36:55,038 How? 754 00:36:55,213 --> 00:36:56,213 My apologies. 755 00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:57,606 Forgive me for being ambitious. 756 00:36:57,824 --> 00:36:59,391 Um, coasting by 757 00:36:59,608 --> 00:37:02,089 on a one-hit wonder isn't enough for me. 758 00:37:02,263 --> 00:37:04,222 Maybe you don't have another hit in you. Huh? 759 00:37:04,439 --> 00:37:06,180 Maybe you're one and done. 760 00:37:06,354 --> 00:37:08,835 Maybe your ego just won't let you read the room. 761 00:37:09,052 --> 00:37:10,967 I would rather be blinded by my ego 762 00:37:11,185 --> 00:37:12,969 than paralyzed by fear. That's me? 763 00:37:13,187 --> 00:37:14,188 That's what you think of me? Yeah. 764 00:37:14,362 --> 00:37:15,189 Because you haven't produced 765 00:37:15,363 --> 00:37:17,060 one goddamn sentence 766 00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:18,800 in 15 years. 767 00:37:18,801 --> 00:37:20,194 What kind of magic do you think you're suddenly gonna find 768 00:37:20,368 --> 00:37:21,195 in your beloved gray house, huh? 769 00:37:21,543 --> 00:37:22,805 With me by your side, 770 00:37:23,023 --> 00:37:25,112 like an emotional support animal, 771 00:37:25,286 --> 00:37:27,245 encouraging you, keeping you calm, 772 00:37:27,419 --> 00:37:30,770 because, quote, "I promised we'd return there one day," unquote. 773 00:37:30,987 --> 00:37:35,209 I mean, I am through being held emotionally hostage 774 00:37:35,383 --> 00:37:37,472 for your creative paralysis. 775 00:37:37,690 --> 00:37:40,127 And there it is, everyone. 776 00:37:40,301 --> 00:37:42,129 That's our show. 777 00:37:42,303 --> 00:37:45,175 Same line every time. 778 00:37:49,484 --> 00:37:53,706 This is the top-secret thing 779 00:37:53,923 --> 00:37:55,925 you've been working on? - Give me that. Give me-- 780 00:37:56,143 --> 00:37:57,666 uh, no, no, no, no, no. - A Tonka truck 781 00:37:57,884 --> 00:37:59,233 is not gonna change the world, 782 00:37:59,407 --> 00:38:01,583 let alone "agriculture as we know it." 783 00:38:01,801 --> 00:38:03,367 You have no idea what you're talking about. 784 00:38:03,368 --> 00:38:05,021 Jesus. This is what you said to every female scientist 785 00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:06,631 that's ever had a better idea. 786 00:38:06,632 --> 00:38:10,244 You know, most men overcompensate with a big truck, 787 00:38:10,418 --> 00:38:12,464 It's nice to see yours to scale. 788 00:38:14,161 --> 00:38:16,163 Oh. 789 00:38:18,165 --> 00:38:20,254 Jeez. What a gentleman. 790 00:38:20,428 --> 00:38:21,299 Oh, fuck. 791 00:38:22,648 --> 00:38:24,432 - What? - Oh, no, Lindy. 792 00:38:24,650 --> 00:38:25,738 What's...? 793 00:38:27,130 --> 00:38:28,262 What'd you do? 794 00:38:31,439 --> 00:38:32,745 What is happening to me? 795 00:38:37,837 --> 00:38:39,317 Oh, oh, oh. 796 00:38:42,450 --> 00:38:44,191 Lindy, hey. 797 00:38:45,148 --> 00:38:46,672 Oh, God. Is she dead? Oh. 798 00:38:51,894 --> 00:38:52,939 Lindy. 799 00:38:54,375 --> 00:38:55,507 Say something. 800 00:38:55,724 --> 00:38:57,073 Are you alive? 801 00:38:57,291 --> 00:38:58,205 Oh. 802 00:38:58,379 --> 00:38:59,424 Oh, you're alive! 803 00:39:02,470 --> 00:39:05,299 Fuck you! Fuck you! 804 00:39:21,750 --> 00:39:24,362 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ ♪ I don't wanna fight tonight ♪ 805 00:39:24,536 --> 00:39:27,495 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ ♪ I don't wanna fight tonight ♪ 806 00:39:27,713 --> 00:39:29,236 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 807 00:39:29,410 --> 00:39:31,673 ♪ I don't want to fight ♪ 808 00:39:31,891 --> 00:39:35,111 ♪ Tonight with you ♪ 809 00:39:36,504 --> 00:39:37,765 Good morning. 810 00:39:37,766 --> 00:39:39,594 How long until you can fix me? 811 00:39:40,465 --> 00:39:43,076 I need the truth! 812 00:39:44,382 --> 00:39:45,557 I don't know. 813 00:39:47,036 --> 00:39:49,125 But I'm making really good progress. 814 00:39:49,343 --> 00:39:51,171 It's incredible. 815 00:39:53,521 --> 00:39:54,347 No. 816 00:39:54,348 --> 00:39:55,479 Moving forward, 817 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:56,785 everything that happens in this lab 818 00:39:57,003 --> 00:39:59,266 will be authorized by me. 819 00:39:59,658 --> 00:40:00,833 Mom wrote something? 820 00:40:01,050 --> 00:40:02,529 The story is viral. 821 00:40:02,530 --> 00:40:05,359 This is a ticking time bomb that is going to blow. 822 00:40:05,533 --> 00:40:07,317 But you're gonna fix that. 823 00:40:10,973 --> 00:40:12,758 That means the world to me. 824 00:40:13,541 --> 00:40:14,760 Richard, were you at my house? 825 00:40:14,977 --> 00:40:16,457 Lindy, wherefore art thou? 826 00:40:18,546 --> 00:40:20,330 I was in the-- I was in the neighborhood. 827 00:40:21,549 --> 00:40:23,943 So I think Mom has had... 828 00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:25,945 An emotional breakdown? She--no, no, no, no. 829 00:40:26,162 --> 00:40:27,425 So Hurricane Lindy is tracking northeast. 830 00:40:27,642 --> 00:40:28,469 No, don't say that. 831 00:40:30,689 --> 00:40:31,733 I'm the villain. 832 00:40:33,822 --> 00:40:35,171 Lindy! 833 00:40:35,389 --> 00:40:36,085 Oh, fuck! 834 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:39,306 Oh, God. 835 00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:41,264 I've created a tiny monster.